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Daryl Loke.BLCC Chinese Orchestra
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Today happened something very saddening. Is between sis and me. Guess this time round I did not choose the right time to tell her things which kept in my heart for sometime. I know I should not do that but is uncontrollable.. It just burst out.. I know you don't expect me to feel this way.. But I guess I am too petty and I did hold a grudge on the quarrel we had previously.. Realised it today that I am not a someone who is willing to admit mistake and apologise..
I m too sensitive perhaps. But, I know you feel bad too. Know you for so long, we been so close. A gang of us always appreciates each other presence. Friendship between us is brother-sister bond. I know I can be rather irritating sometimes. Always want to know you in depth, asking you this and that. I am just curious about how are you. When you are not happy, I worry. When you are happy, I wish to share your enjoyment. I know I am too possessive. And not giving you breathing space. I am sorry.
Friends like you are hard to find. We accepted each other bad points and correct when in need. Once, you really make me change for the better. The impact of you in my life is strong and I suppose this is vice versa. Between us, we normally got no problems until both of our important half knows each other. In the past, I hope to tell you and brothers things about Alvin.. cos I know only you and brothers listen to me no matter how many times I repeat myself... And together with the brothers, you all will give opinions and remarks..I accept what you all say and change for the better.. I still yearn those days when we no need to watch our words.. do whatever we want... sad to think back now and then...everything is different.. Is this the cause of growing up? If thats the case, I hope time not passing so fast..heart pain...
I cannot say is a mistake but still is something I unwilling to accept. At first, I am very happy because finally we can go double dating. But now, I got the phobia of asking you about your relationship. I am afraid of mentioning Kelvin in front of you.. I also realised you seldom will tell me things going on between you and him... Sometimes, I got to watch my words carefully so that I will not say things that are not useful to Alvin or rather things that he should not know. I know I am too over protective of you but I really cherish this sisterhood. I dont want to ruin it just because both of our love are close.. I believe that they are one item and we are one item.. This is something I hope to make sure and to hold on to this belief.. I dont want them to cause our relationship to sour..
You may misunderstand me during just now conversation in MSN.. Cause, my intention is just to share your worries...not creating more troubles for you.. I might put in the wrong action and wrong way.. I thought you not telling me about your problems are due to me not asking... I should not kaypo means I saw you hinting us not to ask you anything.. But due to my carelessness, I mislooked and prompt you.. So, I am blaming myself...
I understand your feelings. You must be thinking there is no need for me to do so much things. But, I cannot help myself. Sometimes, I just unwilling to throw everything aside and heck care. I tried to, but fail. I think I am too kay po towards you. I will await you to tell me anything you want. I will not expect much and I hope everything can end here. You got your freedom to think and I should not be manipulating you. I think this time round is hard for you to heal..
I still wish our relationship will not change.. Hope everything is back to normal... I apologise..sorry... Will you accept?
I m too sensitive perhaps. But, I know you feel bad too. Know you for so long, we been so close. A gang of us always appreciates each other presence. Friendship between us is brother-sister bond. I know I can be rather irritating sometimes. Always want to know you in depth, asking you this and that. I am just curious about how are you. When you are not happy, I worry. When you are happy, I wish to share your enjoyment. I know I am too possessive. And not giving you breathing space. I am sorry.
Friends like you are hard to find. We accepted each other bad points and correct when in need. Once, you really make me change for the better. The impact of you in my life is strong and I suppose this is vice versa. Between us, we normally got no problems until both of our important half knows each other. In the past, I hope to tell you and brothers things about Alvin.. cos I know only you and brothers listen to me no matter how many times I repeat myself... And together with the brothers, you all will give opinions and remarks..I accept what you all say and change for the better.. I still yearn those days when we no need to watch our words.. do whatever we want... sad to think back now and then...everything is different.. Is this the cause of growing up? If thats the case, I hope time not passing so fast..heart pain...
I cannot say is a mistake but still is something I unwilling to accept. At first, I am very happy because finally we can go double dating. But now, I got the phobia of asking you about your relationship. I am afraid of mentioning Kelvin in front of you.. I also realised you seldom will tell me things going on between you and him... Sometimes, I got to watch my words carefully so that I will not say things that are not useful to Alvin or rather things that he should not know. I know I am too over protective of you but I really cherish this sisterhood. I dont want to ruin it just because both of our love are close.. I believe that they are one item and we are one item.. This is something I hope to make sure and to hold on to this belief.. I dont want them to cause our relationship to sour..
You may misunderstand me during just now conversation in MSN.. Cause, my intention is just to share your worries...not creating more troubles for you.. I might put in the wrong action and wrong way.. I thought you not telling me about your problems are due to me not asking... I should not kaypo means I saw you hinting us not to ask you anything.. But due to my carelessness, I mislooked and prompt you.. So, I am blaming myself...
I understand your feelings. You must be thinking there is no need for me to do so much things. But, I cannot help myself. Sometimes, I just unwilling to throw everything aside and heck care. I tried to, but fail. I think I am too kay po towards you. I will await you to tell me anything you want. I will not expect much and I hope everything can end here. You got your freedom to think and I should not be manipulating you. I think this time round is hard for you to heal..
I still wish our relationship will not change.. Hope everything is back to normal... I apologise..sorry... Will you accept?
Monday, September 19, 2005
Really love the Korean MTV just loaded....VEry very romantic but sad ending....Watched it years ago....but came across again when browsing thru...thinking of listening it again n watching it...so must well host it in the website...hehe....cos cannot save......sian........
Anyway.. today got gathering with CO friends...chatting about marriage... have babies..cos the friends in the group all married except me n guat...haha....anyway....really nice meeting up with them.....
Yesterday met up with poly friends...went Swensens for ice-cream and chit chat there.... Then shopping at SUntec and Marina Square...ever since grad this is the lst time we met up to chit chat...really miss poly days.....miss those days where we go ktv sessions.. shopping like a bunch of siao char bo..watch movies...mmm....play pool..haha....n more.......I still remember eating is our fav.....eat eat eat........thats y now everyone slim down cos not eating much anymore.....shall meet up them soon....oct 2nd..celebrate ting birthday....thinking of what to buy for her... so ma fan....hahaha... kidding....anyway...once in the year...sure to get you a nice one...hehe.......
THinking of dear now.... I miss him alot.....in depression mood whenever I feel he is not ard me....these days hardly eat.....eat anything oso no taste.....haha... looks like I really live without him.....he said we cannot be separated anymore......he can feel my sadness when he was in Thailand.... n he can feel when I not in mood even I nv call him....... very amazing..... I wonder how come we got this infinity.....hehe...........
Dear... I really love you...till now.....12 plus... u r still in my mind....I cant slp...cos I really miss ur hug and u holding my hands.... I dream of u everyday..... n I hope I can dream of u tonite....... I love you.......muack..........
Anyway.. today got gathering with CO friends...chatting about marriage... have babies..cos the friends in the group all married except me n guat...haha....anyway....really nice meeting up with them.....
Yesterday met up with poly friends...went Swensens for ice-cream and chit chat there.... Then shopping at SUntec and Marina Square...ever since grad this is the lst time we met up to chit chat...really miss poly days.....miss those days where we go ktv sessions.. shopping like a bunch of siao char bo..watch movies...mmm....play pool..haha....n more.......I still remember eating is our fav.....eat eat eat........thats y now everyone slim down cos not eating much anymore.....shall meet up them soon....oct 2nd..celebrate ting birthday....thinking of what to buy for her... so ma fan....hahaha... kidding....anyway...once in the year...sure to get you a nice one...hehe.......
THinking of dear now.... I miss him alot.....in depression mood whenever I feel he is not ard me....these days hardly eat.....eat anything oso no taste.....haha... looks like I really live without him.....he said we cannot be separated anymore......he can feel my sadness when he was in Thailand.... n he can feel when I not in mood even I nv call him....... very amazing..... I wonder how come we got this infinity.....hehe...........
Dear... I really love you...till now.....12 plus... u r still in my mind....I cant slp...cos I really miss ur hug and u holding my hands.... I dream of u everyday..... n I hope I can dream of u tonite....... I love you.......muack..........
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Sad....extremely sad...I miss him.......Now I realised I cannot live without him..........
I always make u angry...do things u dun like...say things to hurt u......make u irritated......all these naughty actions are always forgiven by you.....I always make things difficult for u..........but come to realise now.......I really need u.....no matter what u say.........I m too used to u.....or I am juz needing someone beside me........i just want to be ur terrier.....biting u n not going to let go.........
Heard frm you........the training is tough.......someone stole my pic away from u.........u cant call me as u wish..........u feel sad.....but I really want you to know that u are my only love.........in my heart forever....................
Just now I feel like crying........my eye got virus infection.....super painful....got blood..but I dun dare to tell u...cos i afraid u worry for me........ur training is tough...n suffering........I dun want you to have more worries for me........................but I really feel the pain....n my mind is all you...
I always make u angry...do things u dun like...say things to hurt u......make u irritated......all these naughty actions are always forgiven by you.....I always make things difficult for u..........but come to realise now.......I really need u.....no matter what u say.........I m too used to u.....or I am juz needing someone beside me........i just want to be ur terrier.....biting u n not going to let go.........
Heard frm you........the training is tough.......someone stole my pic away from u.........u cant call me as u wish..........u feel sad.....but I really want you to know that u are my only love.........in my heart forever....................
Just now I feel like crying........my eye got virus infection.....super painful....got blood..but I dun dare to tell u...cos i afraid u worry for me........ur training is tough...n suffering........I dun want you to have more worries for me........................but I really feel the pain....n my mind is all you...
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Just came home after meeting dear..thinking of blogging..cos I feel down....super sianz...he is going Thailand.....2 weeks......ultra sad.......Just went for a movie n dinner at Fish n Co...Ordered pasta with scrimps salad as appetitser...dressing is great..the presentation of the dish is fantastic with bean sprouts on top follow by cold fresh half cut scrimps around the crispy lettuce...little red tomatoes also cut into half and place around the white round plate......delicious...........
Soup of the day is French Onion Soup....tried it the first time....the soup don't look tasty to me as it is dark brown in colour with shredded onions....taste funny but not a strong onion tingy taste.. think dear likes it more than me....haha.. he is onion king......
Main course...tata....as usual....seafood platter for 1 to share among d two of us......butter rice is yummy....the fish....i suppose is cod fish got its freshness and I like it with the speciality chilli of Fish & Co.....fried calamaris are mouth-watering and the prawns........d best of all.....keke....got a
scrumptious dinner........
Watched Midnight show......Cinderella Man at Jurong point......extremely nice....good story plot....exciting boxing scenes....the duration of the show is about 2 hours....The main lead is good....he casted his character to perfection...I like the part where he was so determined to win the boxing battle.....no matter how the opponent punch or hit him.....no matter how great is the impact of hurt and pain throughout the whole boxing competition.........he never say die.....he carry on to fight till the end..............because of 1 reason...........he want to give better life to his children and wife.......he loves his family and is unwilling to see them suffer.........they are too poor to even eat bread........
Soup of the day is French Onion Soup....tried it the first time....the soup don't look tasty to me as it is dark brown in colour with shredded onions....taste funny but not a strong onion tingy taste.. think dear likes it more than me....haha.. he is onion king......
Main course...tata....as usual....seafood platter for 1 to share among d two of us......butter rice is yummy....the fish....i suppose is cod fish got its freshness and I like it with the speciality chilli of Fish & Co.....fried calamaris are mouth-watering and the prawns........d best of all.....keke....got a
scrumptious dinner........
Watched Midnight show......Cinderella Man at Jurong point......extremely nice....good story plot....exciting boxing scenes....the duration of the show is about 2 hours....The main lead is good....he casted his character to perfection...I like the part where he was so determined to win the boxing battle.....no matter how the opponent punch or hit him.....no matter how great is the impact of hurt and pain throughout the whole boxing competition.........he never say die.....he carry on to fight till the end..............because of 1 reason...........he want to give better life to his children and wife.......he loves his family and is unwilling to see them suffer.........they are too poor to even eat bread........
Till the day the electricity is cut off....he got to drag down his face and begged his friends around him when he was rich to give him some $$ to pay the bills.....quite a moving one............MUST WATCH!! Recommended....hehehe..
Exams coming....end of this month..now must start preparing....but then seems like I got not much time for studying.......work is hectic as I got to approve this and that....got to do reports.. got to do calibration for auditors.....aiyo...the work is endless...now then I realised how relaxed I was in last company........
Got to go slp liao...super tired...tml going Pasir Ris for a outdoor performance......sian.......nite...