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Geraldine Lee.Family Jiexin.Family Hubby.Family Sis Pei.Best Friend Wang Xuetinz.Ex Colleague Nancy Ong.BLCC Chinese Orchestra Daryl Loke.BLCC Chinese Orchestra Xiaxue.Casual Read
January 2005
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Today happened something very saddening. Is between sis and me. Guess this time round I did not choose the right time to tell her things which kept in my heart for sometime. I know I should not do that but is uncontrollable.. It just burst out.. I know you don't expect me to feel this way.. But I guess I am too petty and I did hold a grudge on the quarrel we had previously.. Realised it today that I am not a someone who is willing to admit mistake and apologise..
I m too sensitive perhaps. But, I know you feel bad too. Know you for so long, we been so close. A gang of us always appreciates each other presence. Friendship between us is brother-sister bond. I know I can be rather irritating sometimes. Always want to know you in depth, asking you this and that. I am just curious about how are you. When you are not happy, I worry. When you are happy, I wish to share your enjoyment. I know I am too possessive. And not giving you breathing space. I am sorry. Friends like you are hard to find. We accepted each other bad points and correct when in need. Once, you really make me change for the better. The impact of you in my life is strong and I suppose this is vice versa. Between us, we normally got no problems until both of our important half knows each other. In the past, I hope to tell you and brothers things about Alvin.. cos I know only you and brothers listen to me no matter how many times I repeat myself... And together with the brothers, you all will give opinions and remarks..I accept what you all say and change for the better.. I still yearn those days when we no need to watch our words.. do whatever we want... sad to think back now and then...everything is different.. Is this the cause of growing up? If thats the case, I hope time not passing so fast..heart pain... I cannot say is a mistake but still is something I unwilling to accept. At first, I am very happy because finally we can go double dating. But now, I got the phobia of asking you about your relationship. I am afraid of mentioning Kelvin in front of you.. I also realised you seldom will tell me things going on between you and him... Sometimes, I got to watch my words carefully so that I will not say things that are not useful to Alvin or rather things that he should not know. I know I am too over protective of you but I really cherish this sisterhood. I dont want to ruin it just because both of our love are close.. I believe that they are one item and we are one item.. This is something I hope to make sure and to hold on to this belief.. I dont want them to cause our relationship to sour.. You may misunderstand me during just now conversation in MSN.. Cause, my intention is just to share your worries...not creating more troubles for you.. I might put in the wrong action and wrong way.. I thought you not telling me about your problems are due to me not asking... I should not kaypo means I saw you hinting us not to ask you anything.. But due to my carelessness, I mislooked and prompt you.. So, I am blaming myself... I understand your feelings. You must be thinking there is no need for me to do so much things. But, I cannot help myself. Sometimes, I just unwilling to throw everything aside and heck care. I tried to, but fail. I think I am too kay po towards you. I will await you to tell me anything you want. I will not expect much and I hope everything can end here. You got your freedom to think and I should not be manipulating you. I think this time round is hard for you to heal.. I still wish our relationship will not change.. Hope everything is back to normal... I apologise..sorry... Will you accept? |